The Power of Now | Eckhart Tolle

episode SUMMARY:

In this episode of the Books for Men podcast, host Douglas Vigliotti discusses the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. He explains that while self-help is often dismissed, and for good reason in many cases, it is a genre that encompasses a wide range of topics and can still benefit personal growth. Vigliotti shares his own spiritual journey and how he finds solace in Eastern philosophical thought. He highlights three key concepts from The Power of Now: observing one's thoughts and emotions, detaching from time, and practicing radical acceptance. Vigliotti encourages listeners to give the book a chance to see if it resonates. He also reminds them to share the podcast with others, visit the website to sign up for the newsletter, and remember they could connect with him on Instagram @douglasvigliotti.

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Welcome back to Books for Men, a podcast to inspire more men to read and bring together men who do. So this week we will be wrapping up the year 2023, and it seems a little bit early to you or just how the calendar shakes out this year. Next Monday will be the recap episode for the month, and then the following Monday is January. But don't let me get ahead of myself today. I have an excellent book to share with you. It's one that I carefully selected as the final book of the year, and you may recognize the title. It was an immensely popular book when it came out. It's called The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, and it falls squarely into the spirituality space or self-help space. And while I haven't shared many books on the former, I definitely share a decent amount that at least tangentially relates to the latter.

(01:09)

I feel like self-help is a big category that encompasses a lot, whether it's in the business realm, the financial realm, the spirituality realm, the big idea realm, or the memoirs and essay collection realm. There is a lot of ways that you could cross over into the genre. And it's one that, like I said, not only does it encompass a lot, but I also think it's something that people should read more of if they're not reading already. But a lot of times people look at the genre and they say, oh, that's not for me. I don't need that. It's funny, actually, when I was doing sales consulting, I used to have this whole bit that I would coach people up on or talk on or speak on. It's actually in the first book that I wrote, The Salesperson Paradox, and it's the three thinking pitfalls that you should avoid basically.

(02:05)

And it's “can’t thinking”, “victim thinking,” and “hokey thinking.” So can't thinking being, I can't do this victim thinking being, oh, this always happens to me, or hokey thinking, that's not for me. And I think as I already alluded to, self-help falls into each of those buckets a little bit and people have this knee-jerk reaction to somebody trying to help them with their life or improve their life. I will admit there is definitely a sliding scale or a spectrum that one should be very attuned to if they are going to read in the genre. There is a lot of fluff out there, but it's like anything really, you either get down with someone's sensibilities and think that what they have to say is useful and helpful, and sometimes you don't. Right? And the only way you know is by engaging with the content or the material and seeing what that person has to offer.

(03:02)

The best part about any of these books is that they're usually written with such immense clarity that they're super easy to read. They're intended for anybody to be able to pick up the material and be able to read it. And so it makes most of these books extremely easy to read. There's definitely a lot of re-tread in the category or in the genre, meaning if you read one, you're going to see a lot of overlap in the content and the material. And there are a lot of reasons why these books come out, especially lifestyle ones. They're usually platform-driven. So it's more or less just an individual who has an extremely big ego telling you how they think you should live your life based on the way that they have lived theirs, which is probably to me, the most annoying version of this genre, and it's something that I typically stay away from.

(03:53)

So my favorite types of books in this genre are ones that try to tackle large concepts that seem to overlap into many aspects of human life. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle is surely one of those. And it's really based on Eastern philosophical thought. I've personally read a lot of Thich Nhat Hanh, so if you've read any of his work, this will slot right in there and probably work for you. It's interesting really because my own spiritual journey has kind of been on a roller coaster, right? You don't think about it much through your twenties or maybe some people do. I didn't, but I was raised Catholic and confirmed and the whole nine yards, some of the most vivid memories that I have of childhood are going to mass with my dad at six in the morning or seven in the morning, excuse me, and then going to get a loaf of Italian bread afterward and then coming back and eating cold cut sandwiches back at the house.

(04:56)

And so this is a very visceral memory inside me, but I would be lying if I didn't say that. There are certain aspects of Catholicism that have always troubled me a little bit. I mean, there's the obvious confliction with some of the things that go on inside of the Catholic Church. Many of them have been publicized with priests and all kinds of stuff. But then there's just the actual worshiping aspect and very groupthink aspect of Catholicism, which is where I have found a lot of solace in Eastern philosophical thought, which to me is very much internally driven. And it's not that there's a lack in belief of God or a presence of something that exists that is a much higher power and a much greater thing happening than you. But that definition is much more fluid and it's derived from a sense of wonder as opposed to a sense of knowing that there is this thing that I am worshiping.

(06:02)

And if I don't worship that thing, then I am going to be condemned. And that's just an idea that has been tough for me to square over my 37 years of living. But I will say that the way that I approach spirituality, at least at this point in my life, is through a sense of curiosity and a sense of exploration. Actually, now that I'm thinking of it, a really good book that does that is by Anthony De Mello called Awareness, who is actually a Jesuit priest who combined the two philosophies in his teachings. And we took a long road to get here. But for me, I think that no matter what your religion is, there's a lot of truth that is baked into the core principle of the power of now, which is that everything that you do in your entire life is served through the present moment.

(07:00)

So no matter what you do and no matter what you've done, it's all gone through the lens of Now, of the moment that you're living right now. And that's an idea that on face value is easy for me to grasp and understand because I think that it's true. And so this book talks about this concept in a very easy-to-grasp, thought-provoking way, and it's easy to see why it was so popular. It's another book though, that I didn't read until much later in life. But when I did, it impacted me in a major way. And so when I look at this book, I think of it as coming down to three tenants or big things that encompass the message. And the first one is to watch the thinker as Tolle would say. And that's basically just being able to step outside of yourself and watch the thought, feel the emotion, or observe your reaction and not analyze it or judge it.

(08:06)

Just watch it and see that the thought or the feeling and the mind more than anything is actually separate from your physical being. Now, this might get into the airy-fairy category for a lot of people, but I would recommend trying to actively watch yourself from the outside in actually trying it. And what you'll ultimately realize is that you, your physical being is actually much different than your mind. And the second tenant would be a detachment from time. And so hear me out on this one. This is sort of the core element of this book and this way of thinking. It's a mantra kind of that I tell myself: There is no future. There is no past. There is only now. And the is that the more you focus on time—past and future—the more you miss the now. And 99% of the time when you step outside yourself and you observe yourself thinking, what you will find is that you are thinking about something that has already happened or will happen in the future.

(09:16)

And even if you are aware of this concept, you still do this over and over and over again. Your mind naturally wanders to the future or the past. And it's very rare that it is engulfed in the present moment, which is in direct conflict with the idea that everything you do in your life happens through the present moment, happens through now. Nothing you will ever do will be outside of the present moment. And additionally, one of the things that is most troubling about your mind constantly traveling to the past or to the future, is that one invites depression while the other invites anxiety. So when you are so focused on the past, things that you cannot change, things that have already happened, that are gone, that only live in your memory, that can invite a lot of depression into your life because these are things that you cannot change.

(10:21)

On the contrary, when you're only thinking about the future, what could possibly happen in all the varying outcomes that could occur? This invites and induces a lot of anxiety in one's life. And I do believe both of those things, depression and anxiety are spectrums, meaning that they're part of the human experience. And so on one end, you have people that need a lot of medical intervention and support to address these two things. And on the other end, it's a more milder form. And I think that at different times in our life, we all experience this on a sliding scale. It's not something that you can escape from. And I truly believe that a lot of it is rooted in this aspect of time, the past and the future, and not being present in the now. And that is the big reason why this book and this idea have impacted me and landed so squarely for me.

(11:20)

And then the last aspect of this book is really just a radical version of acceptance. So you're really just surrendering to the present moment. And whatever that is, is the truth. It's not about what should be or what could be, it's about what is. And I think that ultimately when you have this full attention to the present moment, you are also in full acceptance of it. It's much easier to let negativity pass through you. And something I alluded to in a previous episode, but I can't remember which one, which is the law of impermanence, and that is that all that arises passes away. So I think obviously this is a great concept when you have something negative going on in your life or something shitty that you want to go away because you understand that it will pass. And it's not so fun when you have something great happening in your life and you want it to stay forever because it will pass.

(12:21)

But again, I feel there is a great element of truth in this concept, and it's one that works hand in hand with the power of Now, for the sake of time, I'm going to end this episode. I think I've been going on long enough and one might say I could have spent a lot more time on this whole idea. I feel like there is a lot that people can take away from this type of thinking, but that's why I shared the book. So go read The Power of Now. Don't be swayed by your hokey thinking or your can't thinking, and conclude, this isn't for me. Try it out, read it, and see if you actually like it. See if it's something that actually works for you. I could tell you it's something that has for me, and it's probably something that I would've resisted a lot at an earlier point in my life, but it came at me at the right time and I'm happy that it did.

(13:18)

So I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If you did, I want to remind you to please share it with a family member, a friend, or anyone who you think might enjoy it or potentially with this episode, maybe even benefit from it. Word of mouth is everything when you're trying to spread awareness. And with this podcast specifically, it's to inspire more men to read, and you could double down on that support by rating, following, subscribing, reviewing, or any of that good stuff on whatever podcast platform you're listening to this on. And always remember, you can connect with me on Instagram @douglasvigliotti. It's the only social media that I have. And lastly, for more information, you can always visit BooksforMen.org where you can get full transcripts for any of these episodes. As well as sign up for the newsletter, which is a monthly roundup of all the episodes complete with full book and author information, and all the best quotes. There will be a ton of quotes from this book. I have pages of notes on this book just because like I said, it's definitely an idea that has impacted me. And with an open mind, I think it will impact you as well. Also, on that newsletter, there are newsletter-only book recommendations, so if you're interested in it again, all you have to do is head over to BooksforMen.org.