Bad Advice | Shortcuts

This episode of Books for Men features another edition of “Bad Advice”—a new segment where I debunk advice that (I think) is given far too often. This edition speaks to all those "shortcuts" people are hawking. Do you really need it to be easier and faster? Listen for more!

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Welcome back to Books for Men, a podcast to inspire more men to read and bring together men who do. And so I'm going to jump right into this bad advice episode, not wasting much time here. I want to talk about shortcuts. They've been on my mind a lot lately, and it's something that I've thought about quite a bit over the years. We kind of have this predominant cultural idea that we can obtain things without work, right? And we should look for things that are easy and fast and a shortcut, right? A shortcut would be something that would get us to a specific outcome faster than doing the actual work. Essentially, that's what a shortcut is, right? But why am I bringing this up? I'm bringing this up because no matter where you go online specifically, there is a slew of people that are ready and willing to sell you a shortcut.

(01:10)

They have the newest and greatest, the fastest and easiest, the best This, the best that. And I really just want to be direct with you, my audience, people who listen to the show and just say, as far as I understand, and as far as I know, there are no shortcuts. And by that, I mean anytime you do anything in life, really, there are only two things that you can do or two strategies that you could take, either work or get lucky. And there are a lot of people who I believe sell their lucky breaks as shortcuts for your success. It's really important as somebody who is trying to do whatever, achieve any outcome, whether it's gaining that muscle, whether it's better understanding a certain topic, whether it's writing a book, whether it's, I don't know, it could be anything. It's really important to understand that there are only two strategies you could take, get lucky or work.

(02:17)

You could take the strategy of, I'm just going to try to get lucky, but understand that the better strategy is probably just to get to work. And the people that are trying to sell you those shortcuts are people who might be working really hard to sell you their lucky breaks. And I'm not telling you that wouldn't work for you because I don't know the specific situation or the specific strategy or the specific shortcut that is being sold to you. But what I can tell you is that when you take a shortcut, it's actually the long cut. Because what ends up happening is that by the time you get to wherever you're going, you don't even know how you got there, why you got there, or any of the sub-skills that are required. What I really want to point out here is that that journey, that rejection, that struggle, that hard work, that discipline required to achieve whatever you're trying to achieve, whether it's the muscle, whether it's the business that you're trying to create, whether it's the relationship that you're seeking, that struggle, that rejection, that hard work, that discipline, all the sub-skills that are required to get to that point, that is the ticket, right?

(03:36)

That is the thing that's going to help you stay and stick wherever you are intending to be or intending to go, whatever that outcome, that goal is. And in short, I could really sum that up as the process being more important than the outcome. Something that I wrote pretty extensively about in both of my first two books really, but definitely in the gap. And I did just want to cycle back really quick because no matter what scenario you go, even if you do choose the path of I'm just going to put in the work and do it every day or do it every week or put in the time and really work towards that goal that you have, you're going to still need to get lucky. And anybody who's ever achieved anything in their life knows that they've had their fair share of lucky breaks.

(04:25)

But what they also know is that if they didn't put in the work and do the work to achieve whatever they're trying to achieve, there's probably not a great chance that they would've gotten lucky. And so I just wanted to put that caveat in because I don't want to make it sound like if you put in the work, you don't need a lucky break. Everyone needs lucky breaks no matter what they're doing. It's part of life, and you can only see them when you look back on things. Like I said, the only reason why I brought this up originally is because I feel like a lot of people try to sell these lucky breaks as shortcuts for your life. Although it might seem like the shortcut is very alluring, it's a trick. It's a trick because of all the reasons that I said earlier and that you're not learning the necessary skills that are both conscious and subconscious, that are needed to get you to stick and to get you to maintain whatever it is that you are seeking.

(05:32)

Because that journey, that long hard slog is what's going to teach you that and everything that comes with it. And I don't want to belabor this too much because I think that you probably get the point, but what I will end it with is something that I've been thinking a lot about lately, and that's that the world, or at least I should say in America, because that's where I live and most of the people that I know live it is set up to be extremely comfortable, extremely easy for you to live your life. And you may not agree with that because you might be in a situation that is extremely difficult. I have challenges that I face every single day, but the world is still pretty easy and comfortable for me because Amazon can deliver my packages in one day. Uber can pick me up on the spot.

(06:29)

I could literally do anything that I want from my couch, and so could you. And anything that comes out today, technology-wise, just enables that even further. And this is why I've sort of taken the stance that any piece of technology that comes out with the intention of making my life easier, seriously, seriously question it. So you may be saying to yourself, what I don't understand what you mean. So anything that its primary driver is just to make my life easier, to add value, but not actually solve a problem. I seriously question it. Why do I question it? Because I do not think that our lives need to be any easier again in America than they already are. And in many cases, I feel like the problem is actually the opposite in that life is too easy for that individual. And I'm not saying this is the case all the time, and I am super empathetic to people who are born into situations that are terrible and they don't deserve to be born into.

(07:47)

And there's a lot of economic hardship and a lot of social hardship and environmental hardship. I'm super empathetic to that. And so those are completely different situations. But I do believe that as a society and culturally, we are starting to see so many downstream negative side effects from things being incredibly easy. And I know that as a concept that is big, and it could cover a lot. But I do believe as of right now, that we are at a serious tipping point when it comes to this. Life needs friction. You need an element of discomfort to thrive. And this is why, again, I'm saying that I seriously consider adding things into my life that are just going to make them easier, and especially when it comes to technology. And I'm going to tie a bow on this and say that that's important to me because that's how much I value doing the work, the journey, and that's how little I think of shortcuts.

(08:55)

All right, so that's all I've got for today. I'm going to get off my soapbox now, but if there's anybody who you think might enjoy this or maybe needs to hear it, then I want to advocate for you to please share it with friends, family members. Word of mouth is really everything in spreading the word, not just on the podcast, but the mission, which is inspiring more men to read and bringing together men who do. And that's the most important thing here. So I could really use your support there, and you could double down on that by subscribing, following, or rating this podcast or reviewing it on whatever podcast platform that you're listening to this on. And lastly, I always want to remind you that you could sign up for the newsletter at BooksforMen.org, which is a monthly roundup of all the episodes that happen in that month, as well as the top five quotes from each book that is shared, and book information and links and additional book recommendations. And I'm constantly trying to make that a little bit better. So again, you can sign up for that at BooksforMen.org. Thank you so much for listening.